Saturday, July 5, 2008


Here's a great Disney movie just waiting to be made. Chernobyl Charlie! The Radioactive Cat.

It's the story of an ordinary house cat, left behind when her family flees the Chernobyl disaster. 20 years later, Charlie has 3 adorable kittens(!) and still makes her home in the cottage abandoned by her humans. Nature has reclaimed the "zone" with beautiful flora and fauna. The wildlife population is flourishing. In fact, specifies formerly on the endangered list are proliferating! And nary a third eye, split tail or humpback to be seen. There were apparently a few minor mutations in the beginning: The red breasted swallows breasts, for example, turned temporarily white but have since gone back to their original red. Evidently, other swallows weren't buying the white breasted look and it was throwing a wrench in their reproductive cycle. So, nature corrected the mutation!

But back to Charlie! Charlie heads out every day to hunt for food while avoiding all manner of wild animals. Meanwhile her adventurous kittens get their first taste of terror when they venture into the yard and one of them is scooped up by an enormous snake eagle. How are they going to explain THAT when Charlie gets home? As winter approaches, a lone wolf enters the "zone" looking to start his own pack. What else are you gonna do when you're a young ambitious wolf and there's no room for growth in your family?? This is bad news for Charlie and her kittens. I guess she's not willing to become the wolf's bitch; deciding instead to leave the only home she's ever known.

What makes all of this extraordinary is that IT'S TRUE. The Chernobyl zone has become a sanctuary for all manner of wildlife and plantlife. While everything is still supposed to be contaminated and unfit for human habitation, nature seems to be flourishing there. I wonder how long it will take before the first human squatters decide to brave it. What with real estate being so valuable and all. Meanwhile, back to Charlie! For the Disney version, I'd opt for Charlie and the lone wolf to fall in love despite their differences and rule benevolently over the "zone" for another 20 years. BTW, it does seem odd that if Charlie was born in that cottage and 20 years later is STILL having kittens. Perhaps radioactivity is the fountain of youth?

In reality, Charlie gathers her remaining kittens and strikes out into the forest, looking for a safe new home. Along the way, she teaches her little darlings how to hunt for their own food...and hide from Snake Eagles.
After several misfires, she settles her kittens in an abandoned tug boat. Apparently, she's now over the whole 'mom' thing and bids them adieu.
When last we see Charlie, she has crossed the "zone" border and discovers a farm, not unlike the one she left behind. However, this farm is inhabited and Charlie is taken in by the farmer to begin her new (9th?) life. So, let me get this straight. She leaves her kittens behind in a cold, rusty abandoned tug boat while she nestles into a nice warm place by the hearth of the unsuspecting farmer.

She's kinda Young, kinda Now! Charlie!
Kinda Free, kinda Wow! Charlie!
There's a cat and she's here to stay, and they call her
Chernobyl Charlie!

FYI - All of this Chernobyl information bodes well for whatever transmutation the world continues in after 2012...but that's another blog.

1 comment:

Bianca (as in Jagger) said...

I don't get it - never heard of the Chernobyl incident. But the kitten with a gun is CUTE!!!