Sunday, June 29, 2008

Where the f*** are all the Zombies?

I'm going to miss the mind that spawned these ideas...and who, along with the likes of Richard Pryor, indoctrinated me as to the beauty and eloquence of the word FUCK.

"Be proud, be white, be lame and get the fuck off the dance floor!"

"I have a friend who 'happens' to be black. Like it's a fucking accident"

"And Zombies. Where the fuck are all the zombies? That's the trouble with zombies. They're unreliable!"

"No one should ever have any object placed up their asshole that is larger than a fist and less loving than a dildo"

"Whatever happened to natural selection? Survival of the fittest... Nature knows best. We're saving entirely too many lives in this country...Nature should be allowed to do it's job of killing off the weak and sickly and ignorant people without interference from airbags and batting helmets."

"If I had a singles bar, I'd call it Nipples n Dicks. Truth in advertising. The Sperm Club, Snatch-o-rama. The Crotcheteria, Franky's Fuckery!"

"JFK's administration was called Camelot. It really should have been called Cumalot. Cuz that's what he did. He came A LOT! Clinton's looking for a legacy, so his should be called Cum-a-little cuz that's what he did; he came a little on the dress, a little on the desk, not a whole lot really. He was no match for Kennedy in the pussy department. Kennedy aimed high; Marilyn Monroe...Clinton showed his dick to a government clerk."

"Hey, where's your sense of adventure? Take a fucking chance will you! - George Carlin

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