Monday, October 4, 2010

To all the Gays I've loved before

I've been a Hag since 1971. What's a hag? A woman who keeps company with gay men. Usually the Fag/Hag relationship is very similar to the Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationship (see Will & Grace). In the years since I became Original Hag, it seems as though our modern fags (offended? stop reading) have become even more narcissistic and self involved. It became all about having the most ripped upper torso - why oh why do they always neglect their calves? - having the tightest whitest shorts for Palm Springs. From what I can tell, at least here in L.A...the younger generation of gay men (and I'm talking about 30's & younger) have no integrity - especially when it comes to cherishing their Hags. Hags today seem to have become like fag "coordinators" who's job it is to "assist" their pod of gays by telling them how fine they are, not minding being ditched at a club without a ride and taking millions of pictures at the seemingly inexhaustible "pride" events and then posting them on whatever the most popular social network of the moment is. I lost my taste for hagdom when I realized they were getting more out of the relationship than I was and wanted it that way.

Having recently reconnected with my Orignial Fag, I was reminded of how it used to be. As a strong, independent woman in the entertainment business believe me, I've had to learn to fend for myself. So, it was with surprise and a strange deja vu that my Saturday night unfolded. My Original Fag - who I'll call Bear Daddy - cuz that's what he is now - picked me up, drove us to the club, took my hand and kept me with him through the dense dancing crowd, made sure I had a drink, fed me, stood guard while I peed...what more can I say. He is a gentleman. I think that's the core of it. Gay, straight, whatever - there's a courtly-ness missing from today's men. At first, I resisted allowing him to lead me and guide me and protect me - it was so foreign! But since I'm all about staying open to and absorbing new opportunities and experiences these days - I made myself get past it and realized, I like it. No LOVE it!

So to all the Gays I've loved before. None of whom will read this, I'm sure...because if it's not about them they don't care...take a hint. You're not always going to be young and beautiful. So unless you've become verrry successful and can make the transition to "Daddy" status, soon you'll be homo-non-grata AND you won't have a good Hag to turn to.

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