Bitchcraft Radio Emmy Picks!

I'm having so much fun doing my podcasts over at Bitchcraft Radio! Probably the #1 thing I love about it is that it's RADIO and no one can see me. Hahahahaha. So when you get a chance go on over to the website (roll over the logo on your left) to hear our picks or you can also listen at itunes.

I'm listing our off air picks here so that when we do our post Emmy podcast there will be a official record of what my guest Chris Many and I picked.

Outstanding Writing, Comedy Series

We both picked: Modern Family - The Pilot (abc)

Outstanding Writing, Drama Series

We both picked: Lost - "The End" (abc)
(kind of shocking since Chris is so anti Lost!

Outstanding Directing, Comedy

Marion's pick: Modern Family - the Pilot (abc)
Chris' pick: Glee - the Pilot (fox)

Outstanding Directing, Drama Series

Marion's pick: Lost - "The End" (abc)
Chris' pick: Dexter - "The Getaway" (showtime)

Outstanding Non Fiction Series

Marion's pick: Deadliest Catch (discovery)
Chris' pick: Life (discovery)
Variety, Music or Comedy Special

Marion's pick: Bill Maher ...But I'm Not Wrong (hbo)
Chris' pick: The 25th Anniversary Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Concert (hbo)

Outstanding Commercial

We both picked: Old Spice: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

That is all.

Get offa my TV!

NEWSFLASH! Not everyone belongs on TV.

But try telling the Insta Celeb Nation once known as America. Who here still believes that going to school, learning, experiencing, working your way up is the way to make something of yourself these days? Why go to school? Or why learn a trade when you can clearly get your own show just by being a stereotype douche bag? Seriously, it's worse than when kids from poor, urban neighborhoods thought the only way out was to sell drugs. At least they were still supplying us with a much desired commodity. And, ugly as that business is...it's still a business and they are still learning, experiencing, working their way up. What the fuck is Snooki doing for us? Or any of those fame whoring housewives?
Jesus, even Kelsey Grammer's wife wasn't satisfied with being the wife of a mega wealthy television icon...she too wants her 15 minutes.

People, we're in trouble. First we all became convinced that everyone must go to college. Not everyone belongs in college. Especially if you're not going to come out of there with a sustainable skill. Not everyone gets to be a chief. We need Indians too...lots of Indians. But they don't want to be Indians. College (and clearly their parents) imbues them with a sense of entitlement the size of Rhode Island. The 'Chief Syndrome'. If you're kid is good with cars and enjoys it, why not encourage him...or her in that direction? Most race car drivers are mechanics and build their own racing engines. They are knowledgeable professionals who have parlayed, first their innate natural ability, then their learned trade into a job that most men would envy. They get to drive hot cars, very fast and be paid for it. Not to mention the chicks! There are so many roads to success but we, as a nation have come to believe that if our road doesn't end on Bravo or MTV, then it's not a successful journey.

And guess what? When you bitch about how those illegals took your jobs...which jobs would that be? The ones you thought were beneath you? The ones you fantasized delegating to the servants you fantasized having? Meanwhile immigrants are now the solid work force that keeps this country running. You want to sit on your fat fake tanned ass and complain how these hard working people have stolen anything from you? You gave it to them sucka! All they did was observe and act on the golden rule of business "Find a Need and Fill it" And we left the field wide open for them. While we're all running around trying to get on camera, they're doing the jobs we've deemed beneath us.

I'm not saying it's bad to dream big but America's collective big dream has become to be famous. An entire generation now believe that the route to success is by behaving badly enough, to get noticed by some reality show producer and getting a tv show. Finally, I leave you with this. I don't want to see you on TV unless you've been trained to be there. And by trained I don't mean that you've had a Brazilian wax and know how to do a keg stand.

iFuck.There's an App for that!

By now, if you haven't heard that the new G4 iPhone is out...well you must be a survivalist who's already moved into your concrete bunker in the desert.

I have some techno geek friends - of the sort who stood in line for the new iPhone - who've been extolling the virtues of this latest version. The main feature everyone seems to be all 'atwitter' about is FaceTime. This app allows you to make video calls from your iPhone. Now, a lot of women, myself included aren't crazy about this because it becomes just one more event we need to apply make up for. I mean seriously, think about every time you have a phone conversation while not completely pulled together. The party on the other end doesn't know this...because they can't see you.

But there's that commercial, currently in heavy rotation that pulls on our heartstrings. It features the deaf couple signing tenderly to each other via FaceTime. "Awwwww!" we all coo in unison. I mean if there's one thing to validate this app, it's the cool realization that FaceTime will allow the deaf to talk on the phone for the first time (Skype on your computer notwithstanding).

The other side of this warm and fuzzy coin is this...phone sex. Are you with me? FaceTime will surely revolutionize America's other favorite pastime! But with that also comes the They can SEE you factor. Now indulge me again please and think about every time you've had phone sex...how would knowing that the party on the other end could see you effect that? Come on! It's gonna curtail the activity, right? The question "what are you wearing?"... out the window.

And what will that do to the phone sex industry?? It's going to put thousands of fat, slovenly phone sex operators out of business, that's what! Because even if we all know the stories about what's really on the other end of that phone transaction, our brain is fooled by the voice. The voice creates the picture and carries us away. So, what's a unsightly troll to do? Well, if there's not already an app being developed for this, there should be...I'm not well versed in the how but the end result will translate this...

into this...

iFuck. There's an app for that!