It's the Bitch of Living...

Hello 9!

It's already almost December. WTF?? I'm ready to come in for a landing and rest for awhile...but not quite yet. I have one more show to get out of the way. So terrible to be looking at it that way but it's been a rocky 2 years. Oh, I haven't slipped and fallen down a deep crevice and had to cut off my own arm with a plastic spork or anything but it's been rough out here for a bitch...the jury's still out on prospects for 2011 because as we've learned things never seem to be what they seem. Meanwhile, just to keep things interesting I've decided to sing live on stage this Friday night and have stretched further creatively than I had planned to this year. Sometimes it's like learning how to walk...I want to RUN already! and I stumble and scrape my knee. But I find it's those things that make me want to run before I learn to walk that make me look forward to the next day and the next...

All I can tell you is, it's a LOT of work to constantly be pimping yourself and I'm not a natural self pimper. I hear if you really want to go "viral" on the internet, you have to buy hits because apparently nobody wants something that nobody 'appears' to want. What a bunch of morons humans are. Animals don't have this problem. Do you think if a lioness is out on the plain and spots a gazelle hanging out...no other lions or competitive carnivores in sight...she thinks to herself "Hmmm. There's a delicious looking gazelle but why isn't anyone else trying to eat it's ass? There must be a reason...." She's not going to keep searching until she finds a gazelle that's being swarmed...No, that lioness will tear that gazelle up!

On the flip side...you'd also never see a gazelle out there jumping up and down bleating "Pick me! Eat me! Over here! Seriously, I'm delicious!"

Maybe I'm watching too much "The Walking Dead."



Coming soon...the 12 Days of Christmas

Digging a Comedy Hole

I recently did my first show outside of LA. With no friendlies in the audience. I also chose to stretch myself as an artist and talk about something gross and painful from my past in a comedic way. I call it the Huckleberry Hound incident. And I got dinged for it. Comedy's First blood was drawn...People complained...Old people...and let me clarify "old people" while we're at it. I've noticed lately that whenever I say "old people" in front of certain people (old people) they get huffy and defensive. When I'm talking about old people, I mean their demeanor not their age. I know "old people" in their 30's and "young people" in their 80s. So fuck off old people!

I had been to the Smodcastle earlier in the week to check out Tom Green's live podcast show. Awesome, btw! His guest was Bobcat Goldthwait. They talked about "digging a hole" with their audiences during shows. Going too far, pushing the limits, maybe pushing their fans away. I'm thinking they subliminally influenced me to dig me a hole that Friday night in Santa Barbara.

By the time my set began, I had already been traumatized by the fact I was disregarded as an artist and human with basic needs before my performance. No water, no dressing room, no microphone...."Just project!" Ahhhhhhh...those artist's riders that always bedevil we in production. There's a reason for them. The final coupe de grace was - no A/C - in a sweltering auditorium and me in Spanx. That's my defense for digging the hole. And now I'm proud of it. I dug a comedy hole for the old people to fall into. Buh - bye!

I kid you not...when I typed in "comedy hole" on
Google images, this is what came up.