Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Show Glow - Tales of Bitchcraft!

Thought I'd share some photos from the actual show, both behind the scenes and on stage. Behind the scenes there are always obstacles to overcome. The timeline and countdown to curtain inevitably gets screwed up. Or maybe that's just waht happens when you have no rehearsal time in the actual space. One of our big snafus that night was learning that the theater's address was wrong on the invitations! How did we find this out? By the deluge of calls to my mobile 30 minutes before showtime! Argh! Luckily, everyone did end up finding the place but it shook up my pre show calm to say the least. Do you think Celine Dion has these problems?

It was at this point that we broke out the booze. Not that we wouldn't have in any case. I would never have had a drink or a "smoke" before a theater performance, but this is a retro kind of variety show a la Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. We don't just drink, we "drank"!

So, we're down to the wire and the ladies are doing their "last looks"

I know I'm going to have to arm wrestle Monique to get this wig back. It looks great on her and she wants to wear it everywhere!

Heidi has fortified herself with enough wine to go out and do something she's never done before. Stand up!

There was a little drama when my daughter Bianca arrived. She had agreed to run the sound and light board for the show without learning that this meant being in the booth the entire night. She got a little upset about that because she really wanted to sit in the audience and watch me. As the producer and star of the show, this made me both frustrated and a little mad, because if she had just been willing to hear the whole spiel, we could have avoided this pre show kerfuffle. As her mother, it made my heart tighten up and made me want to cry. No body puts baby in a corner! Sigh. Ultimately, I broke the fourth wall with the audience and started my performance by going over and opening the booth window, introducing her to the audience and telling everyone that she'd be watching the show from there. She was kind of embarrassed but it played really well and baby got to not only watch the show but interact with it. I love her. She is my Tim Gunn. I always know if I'm on the right track if she likes what I'm doing and therefore, I will always want to make her happy, even when it's a pain in my ass.


Here's the screen in the darkened theater right before the video began to play at 8PM sharp. Several people came late. To a live show. After the video had played. They're pictures were taken and I called them out...all in good fun, but seriously people. Live theater. Is not a movie you can walk in on 10 minutes late. And a movie won't call your ass out. I will. It's part of the show. What about the title "Bitchcraft! did you not understand?

Once everyone got settled in, things went very smoothly from there. I had fun with it. I took a few picture sof the audience. Well, only two and you can't really tell what they are. After that I forgot how the camera worked and that was that.

Heidi Popp came on next and read from her journals, basically about all of her failed romances in L.A. Hey, if you live in L.A. then you know all about them. Guys come and go, but the material lasts forever. Go Heidi!

Next up was Monique Edwards, who is a film and television actress but had never appeared as a singer before this night. She has an amazing voice and a great big persona that belongs in this kind of arena. She should be preparing a dinner theater show as we speak and getting booked all over the world. And she should buy a wig just like this one. Seriously. The all over effect was perfection. Sell it sistah!

Then it was time for my last set. During this part of the show, I take topics that the audience has written down before the show and give my opinion on them. Unrehearsed. This is my favorite part of the show. Some of the topics that night were: Orgies, Religion, Global Warming, Spanx Underwear, Girls Who Squirt, President Obama and The Law of Attraction. I chose not to address Spanx but whoever wrote that suggestion gets the last laugh, because I chose not to wear my Spanx that night. It was too hot and I wanted to be comfortable. Seeing the tape and the photos, I see that instead of being uncomfortable I was assy. Live and learn. You can bet I'll be Spanxed up when I play the Apollo!

FInally, I want to share the faux tabloid cover I created for the end of the "She's A Bitch, Now" video. I'm so jazzed at how good it looks, I just wanted it to live here where more people might see it and read it. I love it!





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