Wednesday, June 3, 2009

When did Bank Robbing become so low rent?

After seeing the trailer for "Public Enemies" with Johnny Depp...a moment of silence...sigh...I really started to think about this. Bonnie & Clyde, Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid, The Dalton Gang, John Dillinger, Pretty Boy Floyd, Jesse James, Baby Face Nelson...even the SLA, guest starring Patty Hearst, to name the most famous. Then there were the European counterparts who often pulled off the most dazzling of heists.

And finally, the grand daddy of them all, the great folk hero Robin Hood.

Isn't it funny...peculiar, not haha...that as the "greed is good" Wall St. gang rose, the folk hero robbers disappeared? All those folk hero robbers had something in common, they operated during troubled times in our country. And they had the support of the people. Did they all follow Robin Hood's edict of robbing the rich to give to the poor? I'm not sure and I'm not going to research it. But why were Americans celebrating these criminals? Because they were doing something that every one of us has primally wished we could do at one time or another...stick it the man!

So, while Milken and long line of other "white collar" crooks were ass raping us all, bank robbery kind of fell by the way least in the glamour department. Remember that North Hollywood bank of America shootout in 1997? What a debacle. And zero glamour.

Now, back to my original thought. When did bank robbery become so low rent?

In Paris there's a gang calling themselves The Pink Panther Gang. You can read the full story, written by a pretty hot looking guy named Eric Pape, but here's one of my favorite passages: "Their signature is the audacious, tightly choreographed lightning-strike robbery. In 2005, Panthers in St. Tropez on the Côte d'Azur dressed in loud tourist T-shirts, hit a store near the waterfront, then strolled through the tourist-thronged streets—impassable to cars—to a waiting speedboat. In other well-planned getaways, they’ve used bicycles and even skis." How fun is that?

Currently, it seems Americans have become content to view celebrities and "reality stars" as their folk heroes. But what are they doing for US? Do you care if they have cellulite while frolicking on some exotic beach, or if Jon cheated on Kate? Or if they have body odor or whatever the fuck? I DON'T. How much more uplifting and joyous to read that a modern age Robin Hood and his/her Merry band have arisen. To follow their tales of robbing the very banks that have been fucking us out of house and home, right under our very noses....said noses having been buried in the sand watching "I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here" or "Wipe Out" where obese people bounce cruelly off of gigantic mud covered rubber balls (OK, that IS funny!), but I digress...Can you imagine the satisfaction of learning that a group of robbers have emerged, who have returned to the fine tradition of robbing the rich and giving to the poor? And the earth shaking message that would send to Wall St., the AIGs, the Enrons, the Maddoffs, the Chases, our corrupt government? To borrow from "Network" and that famous Peter Finch line "We are MAD as HELL and we're NOT going to take it anymore!" We don't HAVE to take it...but we CAN actually take 'it", meaning riches from the rich.

I don't condone or advise injuring or killing innocents. But, real good old fashioned, well planned out, elegantly executed robbery. Of huge sums to be distributed to those in need. That's the problem with those Somali pirates. They stupidly withhold the much needed aid for their own people on those pirated ships. That is where they lost sympathy and support. Perhaps, if they read, or watched "Robin Hood" a few more times, they'd get the concept. If they were helping their people (as they originally set out to do), they'd be the folk heroes they should be.

When the Mafia first came to New York, they were adored and protected by the people, because they HELPED those in need. You know what corrupts every single entity mentioned here? GREED.

As Bill Maher so eloquently stated the other night, "Greed is NOT good." It is the Achilles heel of every living soul, excepting those special few who should be studied for what it is that they either have of don't have, that exempts them from greed. You can watch the full video clip but one of the highlight for me was "Americans will do anything to each other for money...who acts like this? This wouldn't happen in Sweden...I can't imagine Abba putting out a record called "Get Rich or die tryin'." So, here is my call - to all similar minded peoples. I am looking for smart, sharp, talented, clever, fearless, resourceful people. Multicultural, multi language, open minded, well read, technically adept, organized, detail oriented, good driving, nerves of steel, cool headed under pressure are adjectives I am looking for. The time has come. Restore the days of real folk heroes. Help us help ourselves. The bankers are still sitting in their rosewood paneled offices, laughing at their government bailouts while still grinding the rest of us under their thumbs like loan sharks. They are bullies and it's time to stand up to the bullies.

Who's with me?

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