Wednesday, April 8, 2009

In case we needed further evidence that times are indeed tough...even God has his hand out.

Yes, and he appears to be reaching for an intergalactic hot pocket. What amazes me, is that despite the constant, non stop barrage of news and media blaring from every audio, visual, tactile orifice that we are going to hell in a hand basket...America hasn't begun to change the way it does business. Don't get me wrong. Not everyone is covering their ears and singing LALALALALA. Fast food chains have stepped up and offered their already well priced, fattening, artery clogging menus for even less. Value meals, 99¢ menus. Thank God! Because without them we couldn't look like this...

As we all know...throughout history, fatness was a sign of wealth. Well then DAMN, what the fuck are we worried about America? It's well known that we are the fattest I call foul on this whole "economic downturn - recession - depression" wolf crying. Let us take our pounds of flesh and pay our mortgages, car notes, utility bills, school tuition. Hell, splurge....use that abdominal flap for nice vaca in the Bahamas!

On a completely different note....Oh Snap! In a shocking break with protocol, our new buff armed first lady, Michelle Obama TOUCHED the Queen of England. WTF? Has the giddiness of the past 3 months gone to her head? I know most people think the Monarchy is obsolete but I gotta tell you - if I had been prepared for the throne since birth and been QUEEN for most of my life, I would demand the respect that should come with that. She has made personal sacrifices that none of us would accept. Do you think she wanted to stay married to Prince Phillip? Do you think she wanted to have to sit across from those twits her sons married? Do you think she had Diana whacked? Watch your back Michelle Obama is all I've got to say.

And finally, This is my new dream. To own a drive in Liquor Lounge with local alkie deer as customers. They can really put away the Peppermint Schnapps!

No comments: