Ever experienced a bad bad boyfriend? Been in a relationship where you always came second? Been disappointed, lied to to, cheated on or worst of all battered and abused? Well, that's been my relationship with Hollywood. Hollywood is the man that you just know is bad for you but is so charming and suave that, time and time again, you forgive them and believe that this time will be different.
Our microcosm of society (in this town) is so out of whack that we, as artists, have come to believe that our art has no validity unless someone wants to make a movie out of it. I've been guilty of that myself for a couple of decades. Every anecdote related to me starts the wheels in my brain turning..."That could be a (adjective here) movie!
We don't create anything just for the sake of it's creation. We create it in hopes of a movie deal.
What is wrong with this picture? Imagine for a moment, if Matisse, Picasso, Van Gogh were creating their masterpieces with a three picture deal in mind? The Hollywood prism has invalidated artistry for the sake of art. In this desolate, treacherous, now all but dead world, your art doesn't mean shit if it doesn't get made.
I, for one, am no longer agreeing to this poisonous, one sided, upside down, sick relationship . I am breaking up with Hollywood. It has taken the joy out of my creating for the last time. I will no longer write anything that I think might be "commercial" enough or that 'so-and-so' might respond to. In the plainest parlance I have...FUCK THAT.
I'll be writing stories that I want to read...Exploring the worlds that play on endless loops in my imagination...painting pictures with words that satisfy my soul and make my heart skip. Now...will I be disappointed if no one else cares about these stories? I can't lie. I'm an artist who has always been motivated to sell. It's a step by step process. I can't give everything up at once. But I've taken the first step in walking away from a relationship I've been addicted to for waaaaay too long.