The Universe gave to me...
ADRIANNA LIMA, who is or was pregnant with her first child. Nobody sexes up the catwalk like Adrianna. Most of the other star supermodels made an appearance but they were interspersed with a bunch of Sunday insert quality models, who I've never seen in the Victoria's Secret catalog before. It was kind of like standing in line to see the "Glee" kids and finding only the extras appearing. Heidi did a "surprise" walk which was fun even though they had her covered up in a bit too much tulle. Still 20 lbs above her fighting weight - after just giving birth 5 weeks ago, she looked great despite the vomit-plosion of tulle.
Intern Skank/Presidential Cheater
Hilariously mispelled Payback
Skank du jour
priceless 
By now, "The Secret" has sold millions of copies of books, dvds, journals, calendars, etc. I've seen the movie. When I was first turned on to it by a friend, I watched several times. I turned a lot of people on to it as well. My two favorite speakers on the dvd were Esther Hicks and James Arthur Ray. I'll go ahead and admit it...I even had a crush on James Arthur Ray. Which is what prompted me to invite my favorite person, my daughter Bianca, to join me at one of his "free" seminars being held at the Beverly Hills Hotel in 2008. We liked what he had to say on "The Secret" enough to go. Which is saying a lot. I managed to avoid ever getting sucked into EST or Tony Robbins or The Forum but I was invested enough in James Arthur Ray's persona to go see him in person. So off we went.
The minute we arrived in the reception area of the ballroom and I got a look at most of the other people there, I felt like a sucker. Call me mean if you must but the room was 90% people I'd never willingly talk to. Which immediately made me think "Wait, am I one of 'those' people too?" You know what I mean...or, if you don't you might be one of those people too. Nonetheless, we stayed. The sales pressure started immediately. His staff handed out packets and instructed us to fill out order forms for Ray product before the seminar started in order to get "the best price." Nowhere in the packet did it give any kind of cost info. We sat on ours.
Then it was time for the man himself to take the stage. Now, we knew what he looked like from the dvd but we weren't prepared for the newly glammed version of Ray. He reminded me of Tony Robbins or a used car salesman. He was uber tan, svelte, buffed and polished to within an inch of his life. His suit was Armani (how do I know? He told us so) Now, granted, he WAS wearing a thumb ring in the dvd which maybe should have been a tip off but honestly, I liked what he had to say on the dvd. And much of that was reiterated there in the Beverly Hills Hotel.
He opened the package. Took out the first CD. Held it up. "Who wants this? Who wants it? Show me you want it!" A sprinkling of people jumped up from their seats, waving their hands. He was holding it high over head. A couple of people made their way to the foot of the stage and jumped up and down as if Springsteen tickets were in the balance. Ray slowly lowered the CD until it was right over their heads. Finally, one of the eager beavers was able to snatch it out of his hand. This was repeated several times until the front of the stage looked like chummed water along side The Orca. People were jockeying for position, stepping on each other's toes, elbowing the competition. For what? One CD out of 12 CD set???? Seriously, what are you gonna do with one CD?
Needless to say, we were disappointed in the flesh and blood James Arthur Ray. Turns out he's just another salesman wrapped in the cloth of spirituality. If spirituality was made by Armani. I left feeling vaguely sad. Like a kid who's already heard that Santa doesn't exist but is still holding out hope.
And now, this ultra ugly sweatlodge tragedy. I had heard about the deaths in passing and didn't really pay attention to the story. Then, this morning, while idley flipping through a few weeks old People Magazine, I finally saw that it wasn't just any old sweatlodge.Iit was a James Arthur Ray sweatlodge! Called the "Spiritual Warrior"retreat, people paid $10 grand to live in the desert, starve, skip sleep and sweat with 50 others in a plastic tarp covered tent. Throughout the "ceremony," Ray and his team were putting that familiar pressure on attendees to "Push past the pain" and making it uncomfortable to walk out. And three people died. You can read more detail here.
I have a particularly 'faithful' friend. She's been to prison, she's been homeless, she's had cancer, but goddammit, she's STILL optimistic and grateful! A zombie could literally be snacking on her brain while she's still alive and she'd say "I'm just so grateful it didn't rape me!" She implores me to "stay positive and know that the universe has something better in store for me."
(Rep. Joe Wilson, R, SC)
1. general. One who or that which cracks (in any of the senses of the vb.).
1842 DICKENS Amer. Notes (1850) 14/1 A teller of anecdotes and cracker of jokes. (OED)
2. esp. A boaster, braggart; a liar. A Celtic word meaning a loudmouth. (Tonyan)
1766 G. COCHRANE Let. 27 June (D.A.), I should explain to your Lordship what is meant by crackers; a name they have got from being great boasters; they are a lawless set of rascalls on the frontiers of Virginia, Maryland, the Carolinas and Georgia.
3. [ l7C – early 20C] familiar or colloq. An enormous lie. ( Farmer, 201) A very tall story. (Partridge, 264)
1871 Daily News 24 July, Learning to tell lies, and call them ‘crackers’. (OED)
4. [late l7C-l8C] the backside. (Green, p.283) the anus or buttocks (Spears, 88; 1811)
5. Cracker U.S. A poor white Southern person ( also "rustic", "countrified", "backwoods"
(Cassidy, 825) "uneducated"(Major,119), "low-down’(Rowan,99) and "white trash." ) The area of Southeast Georgia, and North Central Florida are most closely associated with word. (Hill 223)
Also attrib.
Corn-cracker also refers to one who cracks corn to make grits or cornmeal, corn being a principal ingredient of the diet of backwoodmen (Presley) and poor whites linked to certain regions of Georgia and Florida. After the Civil War, many were too poor to buy corn meal and had no choice but to make their own. (Hendrickson, 76). Corn-cracker is first atttested to only in 1835. (Wordorigins).
***********************This definition involves the whip, its pieces, its sound and those who used the whip. One theory is that cracker was coined by black people in reference to the whip-cracking during enslavement; by extension any white person. (Smitherman,100)
6. An attachment to the end of a whip-lash such as a piece of buckskin by which a cracking sound can be produced. Wentworth, 85).
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7.. [ l7C – 19C] Crust, sea biscuit, or ammunition loaf. A thin hard biscuit. (Now chiefly in U.S.) Interestingly, the word cracker in reference to white people by Blacks is possibly derived from association with the whiteness of soda crackers. (Talkin 252) as opposed to ginger cookies. (Juba 119)
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This definition of cracker is the racially charged one and is best understood after carefully considering all previous definitions as to how it evolved.
8. Cracker is also a Black name for whites, especially those thought to be racists. (Allen 50)
