Showing posts with label drinks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drinks. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Just Say NO to Naugahyde: Save the Sportsman's Lodge

A quote from Wikpedia - "In 2007, the Sportsmen's Lodge was sold to developer Richard Weintraub for approximately $50 million. Weintraub reportedly plans to renovate the existing hotel and add retail space. The project would retain the Sportsmen's Lodge name, and would be renovated "to evoke the mid-century cool" of the San Fernando Valley in the 1950s."

Dear Mr. Weintraub, you have failed miserably. Did you run out of money? WTF? I paid my first visit since the "renovation" and found few changes except for some notably annoying ones. Sportsman's Lodge always had this kitschy cool. It was super low key. You could slide in and out of the place on the DL. There were always old time Hollywood guys hanging out in the bar or coffee shop that could regale you with stories about working with Tom Mix, John Wayne and Bette Davis. Pretty much every big touring music act bunks there. And tourists flock there in droves because while it still had authentic Hollywood cache it was affordable for families to stay. And you haven't lived if you haven't been there during a "Super Soap Weekend."

The Pool Bar is my favorite. There's nothing better than pulling up a stool in the summer and whiling away the afternoon. The bartenders are Tarantino worthy and the drinks strong and affordable. When I sit down at that bar...all is right with the world.

I was excited when I first heard of Weintraub's plans. I think the place is a goldmine and with the right touches could become even more so. But all that's been done since 2007 is a moderate renovation in the lobby. Some white Naugahyde sofas and retro light fixtures. Carpet? Still the same. Bathrooms? Still the same. The website shows photos of an updated guest room but the majority of them are still exactly the same. My guess is the redecorated ones are sporting west side price tags too. The Cafe got a minor 50's-esque makeover but the menu is still exactly the same. I get that you spent $50 million to acquire the place, Mr. Weintraub, but do you think that warrants the "security changes" you've instituted? I pulled up to the back gate - my entrance of choice - only to find you now need a key card to enter. Pulled around to the side - figuring I'd come in through the cafe. Also locked. "Non Hotel guests must enter through lobby." At this point I'm vexed but curious to see all of the changes that this type of "security" trumpets. I enter through the lobby and am confronted by the hyper self conscious whiteness. I notice the carpet being the same as well as the reception desk but I'm still feeling receptive. As I walk toward the pool, I notice that two walls have been patched but not painted. Why on earth would you spend $50 million on something and then not have the resources or perhaps the will (??) to follow through? I just don't get this kind of mediocre bullshit. I see it in the movie business too. Johnny-Come-Lately "producers" with some cash who think they're buying into the pussy train and then lose their appetite when it comes to the nuts and bolts of actually finishing a project.

Out at the pool, everything looks exactly the same, which is at once comforting and perplexing. I notice all the gates to the pool are locked too. The bartender chick lets me in. As soon as I sit on my favorite stool and get my first Bay Breeze, I exhale. Perfect summer jams on the sound system? Check. Old hairy guy in the pool? Check. Kids eating chicken fingers on the other side of the bar? Check. Over tanned pot-bellied roadies on deck chairs? Check. Ahhhhhhh. Home. The bartender tells me that they expect non hotel guests to pay for entry to the pool bar now but she's not outing me. She is disgruntled about the "changes" as well. The little side gate nearest the bar is locked with a padlock which means she now has to walk all the way around to the main gate whenever she's picking up food orders or restocking the bar. Inefficient...and wait a minute...What?? The new management expects me to pay to come to a place that used to be free to get into...and that, by the way, still looks EXACTLY THE SAME. She glumly tells me that her tips are down 50% from last summer because the locals are staying away. That's Bad JuJu.

God, I wish I had the money to buy the place. Do you know that in Clark Gable's day you could fish for your supper in their trout ponds right from your table while swilling an excellent martini? Where in L.A. can you do that? That's the way to go! Bring back the true "mid century cool" not the fake Naugahyde one. Are you listening Mr. Weibtraub? Give me a call, I can make it happen...until then, I'll be sneaking in to the pool bar like any self respecting local.

Monday, December 21, 2009

On the 8th Day of Christmas...


My Universe gave to me...

The Generosity of Friends

2009 has been a Witch's tit of a year..To many...Some of those many are my friends. Friends who have been having a tough go of it this year as well...but these friends have been incredibly good to me...

One friend was keeping me supplied with weed for months....MONTHS, for free...Others treated me to things that are usually on the casualty list when you've been unemployed for a looooong time...a nice meal out, a few drinks at the local pub, a movie complete with popcorn and soda. There is something so humanizing about these social mores...they make one feel infinitely better about ones self. The generosity of these friends has overwhelmed me at times...also overwhelming has been the deafening silence or the breakneck backpedaling of other 'friends'. But, I've been working on letting that be about them and not me. Who knows what fears our circumstances trigger in others. Who knows - indeed - what burdens and hardships others are facing and trying to keep under wraps.


But, I am so touched by the generosity I have been shown this year and I look forward to being able to supply the same for someone when I can.

I love you all. You know who you are.



Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Show Glow - Tales of Bitchcraft!

Thought I'd share some photos from the actual show, both behind the scenes and on stage. Behind the scenes there are always obstacles to overcome. The timeline and countdown to curtain inevitably gets screwed up. Or maybe that's just waht happens when you have no rehearsal time in the actual space. One of our big snafus that night was learning that the theater's address was wrong on the invitations! How did we find this out? By the deluge of calls to my mobile 30 minutes before showtime! Argh! Luckily, everyone did end up finding the place but it shook up my pre show calm to say the least. Do you think Celine Dion has these problems?

It was at this point that we broke out the booze. Not that we wouldn't have in any case. I would never have had a drink or a "smoke" before a theater performance, but this is a retro kind of variety show a la Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. We don't just drink, we "drank"!

So, we're down to the wire and the ladies are doing their "last looks"

I know I'm going to have to arm wrestle Monique to get this wig back. It looks great on her and she wants to wear it everywhere!

Heidi has fortified herself with enough wine to go out and do something she's never done before. Stand up!

There was a little drama when my daughter Bianca arrived. She had agreed to run the sound and light board for the show without learning that this meant being in the booth the entire night. She got a little upset about that because she really wanted to sit in the audience and watch me. As the producer and star of the show, this made me both frustrated and a little mad, because if she had just been willing to hear the whole spiel, we could have avoided this pre show kerfuffle. As her mother, it made my heart tighten up and made me want to cry. No body puts baby in a corner! Sigh. Ultimately, I broke the fourth wall with the audience and started my performance by going over and opening the booth window, introducing her to the audience and telling everyone that she'd be watching the show from there. She was kind of embarrassed but it played really well and baby got to not only watch the show but interact with it. I love her. She is my Tim Gunn. I always know if I'm on the right track if she likes what I'm doing and therefore, I will always want to make her happy, even when it's a pain in my ass.


Here's the screen in the darkened theater right before the video began to play at 8PM sharp. Several people came late. To a live show. After the video had played. They're pictures were taken and I called them out...all in good fun, but seriously people. Live theater. Is not a movie you can walk in on 10 minutes late. And a movie won't call your ass out. I will. It's part of the show. What about the title "Bitchcraft! did you not understand?

Once everyone got settled in, things went very smoothly from there. I had fun with it. I took a few picture sof the audience. Well, only two and you can't really tell what they are. After that I forgot how the camera worked and that was that.

Heidi Popp came on next and read from her journals, basically about all of her failed romances in L.A. Hey, if you live in L.A. then you know all about them. Guys come and go, but the material lasts forever. Go Heidi!

Next up was Monique Edwards, who is a film and television actress but had never appeared as a singer before this night. She has an amazing voice and a great big persona that belongs in this kind of arena. She should be preparing a dinner theater show as we speak and getting booked all over the world. And she should buy a wig just like this one. Seriously. The all over effect was perfection. Sell it sistah!

Then it was time for my last set. During this part of the show, I take topics that the audience has written down before the show and give my opinion on them. Unrehearsed. This is my favorite part of the show. Some of the topics that night were: Orgies, Religion, Global Warming, Spanx Underwear, Girls Who Squirt, President Obama and The Law of Attraction. I chose not to address Spanx but whoever wrote that suggestion gets the last laugh, because I chose not to wear my Spanx that night. It was too hot and I wanted to be comfortable. Seeing the tape and the photos, I see that instead of being uncomfortable I was assy. Live and learn. You can bet I'll be Spanxed up when I play the Apollo!

FInally, I want to share the faux tabloid cover I created for the end of the "She's A Bitch, Now" video. I'm so jazzed at how good it looks, I just wanted it to live here where more people might see it and read it. I love it!