Bitchcraft Radio Emmy Picks!

I'm having so much fun doing my podcasts over at Bitchcraft Radio! Probably the #1 thing I love about it is that it's RADIO and no one can see me. Hahahahaha. So when you get a chance go on over to the website (roll over the logo on your left) to hear our picks or you can also listen at itunes.

I'm listing our off air picks here so that when we do our post Emmy podcast there will be a official record of what my guest Chris Many and I picked.

Outstanding Writing, Comedy Series

We both picked: Modern Family - The Pilot (abc)

Outstanding Writing, Drama Series

We both picked: Lost - "The End" (abc)
(kind of shocking since Chris is so anti Lost!

Outstanding Directing, Comedy

Marion's pick: Modern Family - the Pilot (abc)
Chris' pick: Glee - the Pilot (fox)

Outstanding Directing, Drama Series

Marion's pick: Lost - "The End" (abc)
Chris' pick: Dexter - "The Getaway" (showtime)

Outstanding Non Fiction Series

Marion's pick: Deadliest Catch (discovery)
Chris' pick: Life (discovery)
Variety, Music or Comedy Special

Marion's pick: Bill Maher ...But I'm Not Wrong (hbo)
Chris' pick: The 25th Anniversary Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Concert (hbo)

Outstanding Commercial

We both picked: Old Spice: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

That is all.

Size DOES matter!

I just finished retooling my blog site and added a gadget that assembles all of your tags. I did it in the "cloud" formation - self explanatory if you look to your right. Then I noticed that the more frequently a word is used the bigger it appears in the cloud. Let's peruse my tags shall we?

create
depression
friend
fun
funny
happiness
joy
laughter
love
peaceful
Plenty of Fish
Romantic Comedy
sex
unemployment
While You Were Sleeping
writing
yoga

I'm suspicious of the formula now because I'm pretty sure I've only ever mentioned "While You were Sleeping" once...and while it's a pretty fantastic post, does it warrant standing out in my cloud of words? What strikes me the most, in scrolling down the list...it looks like shorthand for a life lived, don't you think?

PS - This post was mostly an excuse to get you to check out my groovy new look. I hope you like it as much as I do!

On the 12th Day of Christmas...

My Universe gave to me...

Sundays with Bianca

Here we are...the final day of Christmas...I've saved my best, most important gift for last. My daughter Bianca. Some of you may have heard our story before but it's Christmas and it bears repeating.

When I was young and running around like an Untouchable, I got pregnant. Back then, my life was so crazy that missed periods were pretty standard. This was before in home pregnancy tests (Jeez) and I'd go to the doctor's office quite often for the "Rabbit Test." I can't recall what the Rabbit Test was exactly...something about peeing on a rabbit and if it turned blue you were pregnant?...the tests were always negative. So, I let my guard down a bit and ignored a few missed periods. And then discovered, this time, I really was pregnant...22 weeks pregnant. Because the baby had been conceived during a time that my husband and I weren't together, I knew there would be drama... and there was.

He wanted me to get an abortion...Thankfully, there were no clinics willing to do it so far into the pregnancy...Imagine if we had still been in L.A....the land of late trimester abortions...but the Universe was on full alert and protected this baby. He gave me a choice... Keep the baby and lose my husband...something I couldn't face. So, reluctantly I turned to thinking about giving the baby up and had started making calls. Then a miracle happened. He came home one night and took me in his arms and said that the baby was a part of me and he would love it as he loved me....so, she was born...but not before there had been several near disastrous accidents. These are stories for another time but, briefly...I took a spill on a motorcycle and also fell down a full flight of stairs in my eighth month. Neither incident fazed Bianca.

I've once in while wondered, had he known that having her would ultimately cause me to leave him, would he have had that change of heart? But no matter, Bianca was meant to be born and everything lined up to make sure that happened. Having her saved my life to be sure. The kind of life I was living doesn't end in a rocking chair on a nice porch somewhere.


So, we were bound together in a cosmic contract. Something wants us both here. And it is this bond, this unspoken contract that has brought us this far. And she continues to save my life...just by existing. It's been frustrating for me during dark times...I who am no stranger to suicidal thoughts. Frankly, I'm not a fan of hanging around "just in case" things turn out alright...the powers that be obviously knew this about me and exercised the Bianca Clause on me.

Now, during this darkest of years, 2009...my Sundays with Bianca have been my lifeline. Oh, we text and email and Facebook and talk on the phone pretty much daily...but she's a gorgeous, bright, lively young woman who should be making her own way and living her own busy life and I work hard to respect that...in exchange for which, I am blessed with Sundays, when she and I hang out...go to the movies...to a little pub...whatever it is, it's like my church...I just realized that...I go to the church of Bianca on Sundays and my spirit is renewed enough to face another week...come what may. I don't know if there will be a great reveal one day...that will show us why our journey is so intertwined and to what purpose. It seems odd to tie two people together and have an airtight fail safe in place to make sure we...meaning I, stay...all I know for sure is that I love her...so I stay.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night.

Spiritual VEETAVITAVEGAMIN

I'm not gonna lie.

Here I sat on December 30, 2008. I've been back from New York for a month and haven't really written. Oh, I've written a couple of blog posts - not particularly inspired - I've opened the script I started before I left in September. Written maybe 7 pages total. But I gotta tell you it's been a slog. I thought I'd come back and just churn out a draft before January 1.

I've done it before. I have the discipline, I have the drive, I have the desire...

NORMALLY.

But it seemed my 'get up and go' got up and went. I'm in urgent need of a transfusion, a large dose of Veetavitavegamin.

I need help. I'm like a dying Tinkerbell and I just need Peter Pan to rally the troops and BELIEVE in me so that I can do what I need and want to do. I need a SIGN, a blessing, a miracle. I want to have one of those writing experiences we hear about. Like when Kevin Williamson went to Palm Springs for a "sleepless weekend" and came out with Scream. I want one of those experiences where it's like I'm channeling...where the words just pour out of me through my fingers onto the keys and into my laptop. Where I don't eat, drink, sleep or pee for a week and come out looking like the Bride of Frankenstein holding a fucking script that SELLS!

Well, Cats and Kittens, it seems like I got my sign. Not exactly the fever dream explosion that results in a finished script...BUT a sure sign. Where did it come from?


My New Year's Eve Magic Mushroom Trip. I've done them before but not with a specific quest. All I can say is that it put everything into perspective. Everything. I can't imagine what more I could have learned if my Ego hadn't kept pulling me back to "reality". Our Ego is very invested in keeping us from connecting with our spirit. Spirit knows that EVERYTHING is possible. I mean it. Ego keeps us in line with rules and fear and "the way it is". It does this to protect us. It is the babysitter of the Spirit and trust me your Ego wants to shake your Spirit like a bad Nanny would. Spirit's purpose here on earth is to experience physical form.

We are all literally playing "The Game of Life." Scoff if you must. I've had this thought at various moments, unassisted by any drug but it was made clear to me last night. Thus Ego's stranglehold on us. Ego is playing Life to the death...Spirit is playing to increase it's score. Reincarnation is a player's re-entry into the game. I don't know which is worse. Going through an entire life never awakening - thinking that this life, this incarnation is the only one we've got. OR, waking up half way through and realizing you have been playing in a trance. Image waking up half way through The Amazing Race and realizing IT'S A RACE.

What last night's experience gave me was a calming, an understanding that refocused me on to the thrill of creating rather than the outcome. Again, I'm not gonna lie. I want that successful outcome. But now I can create without the paralyzing fear of failure.

I'm not being very articulate about the actual experience, I know. But that's private. The messages were profound and I don't feel like sharing them right now. All I can say is that I'm ready to do whatever it takes to 'Be Calm and Carry On.' I'll leave you with this succinct quote from Bill Hicks. If you don't know who he is, there's tons of his stuff on youtube. Or go to billhicks.com

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather.”

I'm going off to work on my script now. I'll keep you posted...















P.S. - My mind just boggled at the thought of the multitudes of people who are so disconnected from their Spirit that they're not even playing THIS game of Life. They're playing 'Second Life'....playing a game within a game. Now that's a trip!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let's play!