My Personal Conspiracy Theory

I hope I'm completely off base, crackpot crazy for this...but just in case, I wanted the 9 to know.

Remember 2008? The Presidential race? Remember how it seemed it was going to be Hillary's race to lose? Obama was charismatic and young and everybody was talking about how he was a comer...but not just yet? Bush had all but burned us to the ground so there was no way in hell a republican was going to win...cut to, John McCain being forced to accept this powder puff "hockey mom" Palin as his running mate. Literally, out of the blue and overnight. And the "people" loved her! Those people. The same people who thought there was nothing shady about the fact they were being approved for mortgages they couldn't afford. Who have 20 credit cards. All maxed out. The wrestling fans, the Nascar fans, the HeeHaw nation who love their guns and their Pontiac Chargers and still harbor fond memories of when "whitey" ruled supreme. That guaranteed the powers that be - the "owners" of America, as George Carlin called them, that McCain was dead in the water and forced voters who's brains aren't made of Cheese Whiz to swing to the democratic choices. Now, I know we all wanted to believe that Obama turned the tide with his grassroots campaigning, his considerable charm and gravitas and offerings of Hope. But I believe the PTB (Powers That Be) set in motion a plan that would ultimately kill two birds with one stone and clear the path for another protracted republican reign once the smoke cleared...still with me?

During the '08 election the long dreamt of, theorized about possibilities of having a woman President or a black President became sharply real. So, why did the PTB throw all of their machinating efforts behind Obama and not Hillary? Because Hillary is a seasoned player. She spent 8 years in the White House and knows everything Bill knows. Whatever it is that they reveal to presidents after they're sworn in (that makes them age overnight), she already knows. She's smart, ruthless, knows the players, where the bodies are buried and would have given the PTB a run for their money. We all know how Obama has fared since the election. It's agonizing to watch how incredibly difficult things have been made for him. There's an email going around that touts his achievements in office thus far. And he HAS achieved things but you'd never know about it from the avalanche of media out there. Even Bill Maher's starting to turn. The PTB have done a number of epic proportions on this president and it'll be a miracle if he's reelected. And I'm sad to say, I don't think there'll be another black President any time soon. One bird down, one to go.

The PTB have been and continue to tee Palin up for the slam dunk in 2012. I know it seems as though that should be insanely preposterous but it's becoming less and less so. She's been running since 2008 and the media (owned by...say it with me...the PTB) is spoon feeding her to the Velveeta masses and they are eating her up like nachos. The Palin's are the very definition of white trash with credit. Bristol (no doubt named after the Bristol Creme Sarah was swilling when she got knocked up) IS the only DWTS contestant that didn't lose weight - you are so right, Kathy Griffin - and still almost WON. If that didn't send shivers up your spine...if the fact that the troops booed Griffin for making fun of the girl didn't make the hairs on your arm stand up, keep sleeping. But why, you ask, would the PTB support a nincompoop like Palin? Really?? Is it because they plan to stick their collective fist up her ass and work her like a puppet? I thought that until I watched the finale of Boardwalk Empire and remembered that this country is owned and operated by wealthy, white, conservative men. I think, once she's elected they will leave her dumb ass to flounder and fail and as her beloved grizzly supporters turn on her, the stone will have taken the 2nd bird down. One term and out and the consensus will be "Well, we gave the women and the blacks a shot and they're obviously not capable of running anything. And come 2016, the status quo will be restored as a white male republican president takes office. All accomplished in 8 short years.

Time will tell if I'm wrong and/or nuts...somebody that I shared this with privately pointed out that they didn't think the republicans were smart enough or had the resources to plot something like this. But the PTB are. And if I can think of it..surely some stupid old men can.

Please also read Aaron Sorkin's great piece on Huffington Post today. Brilliant.

Bitchcraft Radio Emmy Picks!

I'm having so much fun doing my podcasts over at Bitchcraft Radio! Probably the #1 thing I love about it is that it's RADIO and no one can see me. Hahahahaha. So when you get a chance go on over to the website (roll over the logo on your left) to hear our picks or you can also listen at itunes.

I'm listing our off air picks here so that when we do our post Emmy podcast there will be a official record of what my guest Chris Many and I picked.

Outstanding Writing, Comedy Series

We both picked: Modern Family - The Pilot (abc)

Outstanding Writing, Drama Series

We both picked: Lost - "The End" (abc)
(kind of shocking since Chris is so anti Lost!

Outstanding Directing, Comedy

Marion's pick: Modern Family - the Pilot (abc)
Chris' pick: Glee - the Pilot (fox)

Outstanding Directing, Drama Series

Marion's pick: Lost - "The End" (abc)
Chris' pick: Dexter - "The Getaway" (showtime)

Outstanding Non Fiction Series

Marion's pick: Deadliest Catch (discovery)
Chris' pick: Life (discovery)
Variety, Music or Comedy Special

Marion's pick: Bill Maher ...But I'm Not Wrong (hbo)
Chris' pick: The 25th Anniversary Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Concert (hbo)

Outstanding Commercial

We both picked: Old Spice: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

That is all.

When did Bank Robbing become so low rent?

After seeing the trailer for "Public Enemies" with Johnny Depp...a moment of silence...sigh...I really started to think about this. Bonnie & Clyde, Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid, The Dalton Gang, John Dillinger, Pretty Boy Floyd, Jesse James, Baby Face Nelson...even the SLA, guest starring Patty Hearst, to name the most famous. Then there were the European counterparts who often pulled off the most dazzling of heists.

And finally, the grand daddy of them all, the great folk hero Robin Hood.

Isn't it funny...peculiar, not haha...that as the "greed is good" Wall St. gang rose, the folk hero robbers disappeared? All those folk hero robbers had something in common, they operated during troubled times in our country. And they had the support of the people. Did they all follow Robin Hood's edict of robbing the rich to give to the poor? I'm not sure and I'm not going to research it. But why were Americans celebrating these criminals? Because they were doing something that every one of us has primally wished we could do at one time or another...stick it the man!

So, while Milken and long line of other "white collar" crooks were ass raping us all, bank robbery kind of fell by the way side...at least in the glamour department. Remember that North Hollywood bank of America shootout in 1997? What a debacle. And zero glamour.

Now, back to my original thought. When did bank robbery become so low rent?


In Paris there's a gang calling themselves The Pink Panther Gang. You can read the full story, written by a pretty hot looking guy named Eric Pape, but here's one of my favorite passages: "Their signature is the audacious, tightly choreographed lightning-strike robbery. In 2005, Panthers in St. Tropez on the Côte d'Azur dressed in loud tourist T-shirts, hit a store near the waterfront, then strolled through the tourist-thronged streets—impassable to cars—to a waiting speedboat. In other well-planned getaways, they’ve used bicycles and even skis." How fun is that?

Currently, it seems Americans have become content to view celebrities and "reality stars" as their folk heroes. But what are they doing for US? Do you care if they have cellulite while frolicking on some exotic beach, or if Jon cheated on Kate? Or if they have body odor or whatever the fuck? I DON'T. How much more uplifting and joyous to read that a modern age Robin Hood and his/her Merry band have arisen. To follow their tales of robbing the very banks that have been fucking us out of house and home, right under our very noses....said noses having been buried in the sand watching "I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here" or "Wipe Out" where obese people bounce cruelly off of gigantic mud covered rubber balls (OK, that IS funny!), but I digress...Can you imagine the satisfaction of learning that a group of robbers have emerged, who have returned to the fine tradition of robbing the rich and giving to the poor? And the earth shaking message that would send to Wall St., the AIGs, the Enrons, the Maddoffs, the Chases, our corrupt government? To borrow from "Network" and that famous Peter Finch line "We are MAD as HELL and we're NOT going to take it anymore!" We don't HAVE to take it...but we CAN actually take 'it", meaning riches from the rich.

I don't condone or advise injuring or killing innocents. But, real good old fashioned, well planned out, elegantly executed robbery. Of huge sums to be distributed to those in need. That's the problem with those Somali pirates. They stupidly withhold the much needed aid for their own people on those pirated ships. That is where they lost sympathy and support. Perhaps, if they read, or watched "Robin Hood" a few more times, they'd get the concept. If they were helping their people (as they originally set out to do), they'd be the folk heroes they should be.

When the Mafia first came to New York, they were adored and protected by the people, because they HELPED those in need. You know what corrupts every single entity mentioned here? GREED.

As Bill Maher so eloquently stated the other night, "Greed is NOT good." It is the Achilles heel of every living soul, excepting those special few who should be studied for what it is that they either have of don't have, that exempts them from greed. You can watch the full video clip but one of the highlight for me was "Americans will do anything to each other for money...who acts like this? This wouldn't happen in Sweden...I can't imagine Abba putting out a record called "Get Rich or die tryin'." So, here is my call - to all similar minded peoples. I am looking for smart, sharp, talented, clever, fearless, resourceful people. Multicultural, multi language, open minded, well read, technically adept, organized, detail oriented, good driving, nerves of steel, cool headed under pressure are adjectives I am looking for. The time has come. Restore the days of real folk heroes. Help us help ourselves. The bankers are still sitting in their rosewood paneled offices, laughing at their government bailouts while still grinding the rest of us under their thumbs like loan sharks. They are bullies and it's time to stand up to the bullies.

Who's with me?