On the 6th Day of Christmas...

My Universe gave to me...

Katt Williams!

I couldn't possibly say enough about how much I love and appreciate this man. I'm not even going to bother posting any youtube clips because there are too many to choose from. He is brilliant. He is genius. He is funnier than shit while observing the way of the world and bringing those observations back home to roost with his audience...


He is a potent antidote for whatever ails me...and I need a BIG dose of him today. When you see this level of brilliance it's difficult to not believe that there's something bigger than us as individuals out there...


I LOVE YOU KATT!!!! I GOT YOUR BACK!!

On the 5th Day of Christmas...

My Universe gave to me...

FACEBOOK

Never really got into Friendster. I have a MySpace page but can't remember how to access it and haven't been on it in years. I joined Facebook at the urging of a hipster friend who said it was a "must." Especially if I was doing comedy. And my hipster friend, who's name rhymes with Schmoo was correct!

What's been awesome about it is being able to stay connected with people who are no longer in my immediate orbit but who used to delight me in one way or another. Even the worst days could be made a tiny bit better by seeing their always witty, interesting, funny posts. It's also very gratifying when other people "get" me and respond in kind. When I was in my deepest, darkest depression, this summer - literally going nowhere, seeing no one - I could and often would go to Facebook. It's always there, no matter the time of day or night. During that time, I even got really sucked into Mafia Wars - it kind of became my "job" over the summer. I got great satisfaction watching my fake bank account grow to over a billion. At least I had money stashed in the virtual world!

What's been fascinating from an anthropological viewpoint is that, even though keeping in touch with someone on Facebook is literally a click away...some people are apparently "too busy" to even maintain that level of civility. I love posters who take the time to declare "I'm so busy I don't know what to do!" but obviously have time to post that. Howeve,r do not have time to respond to me. That was bothering me a lot for a while. But a few months ago, I just decided "Fuck it!" and defriended a bunch of people. Not in a retribury way. My goal was to reduce stress in my life wherever possible and easy to do so. Stressing about a long time friend who's just too cool for school to interact with me? No more. Deleted. Funny thing is, once that happened some of these people contacted me "I haven't seen your Facebook status in a while. Are you ok?" And I'm not mad at them. I get that everyone has their own stuff going on. But, don't get your stuff on my stuff. Everybody's happy. No one gets hurt.

Aother really cool by-product of putting myself out there on a social networking site has been that it really has exposed me to people who didn't know me before but "friended" me because they enjoy what I put up. Three of those people came to my show in September. That was really cool. Thanks Facebook!

The Aggro of Creative Birth!

The reason I haven't posted anything new since MJ died is because I've been prepping a live comedy show while still looking for employment. As I approach the 10 month mark (!) I wonder if I'll ever work again. But when the going gets tough, what do the tough do? COMEDY!

I recently read this joke: In Italy, a very depressed man goes to see his doctor. "I am so very depressed doctor, I'm afraid I may kill myself. What should I do?" The doctor replies thoughtfully and without hesitation "There is a great clown, a famous entertainer named Pagliacci. He makes all of the people laugh and forget their troubles. Go and see him without hesitation." The depressed man smiles sadly "But Doctor, I AM Pagliacci."

While writing can be lonely and isolating, it is a sublime form of creative birth. One where you have all of the control and where the only limits to your creation are in your own imagination. Physical creation is always fraught with aggravation, I find. Limitations challenge you at every turn. Finances, technical ability, time, depending on others...all become a melange of brain splitting stress. Or maybe it's just me. Everyone says "Just enjoy the process. Stop focusing on the problems. You're thwarting your own good!" And to them I say "Go fucking create something and get back to me." In my experience, whether it's a little 3 minute video, a live show, a $4 million or $34 million movie, there will be blood. And we should have the right to be frustrated and vent about it, right? I questioned myself the other day. Maybe this means I don't love it? They say if you do something you love, success will come? Um, this is Hollywood. That's not the rule. You have to REALLY want it and be willing to do and put up with whatever comes to get it. And then...you still might not. There are more people actively hating on you and secretly wishing that you fail than there are those supporting you. Katt Williams says we should welcome the haters but I don't need their bad juju added into the soup of my own negativity. I'm becoming so superstitious in my advancing age that the thought of someone sitting in the theater who doesn't wish me well is tantamount to giving me the "evil eye!"

But I DO love it. I've been putting on shows and creating worlds and stories and people since I can remember. We love our children but they still can frustrate us, break our hearts and make us curse them at times. I guess I have to make my peace with that and keep creating.

I leave you with this thought: Who can Pagliacci turn to?